


The Birds OR: Things You Shouldn't Punch

by Hekkenfeldt



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Humor, M/M, no birds were hurt in the making of this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 13:24:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6986860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekkenfeldt/pseuds/Hekkenfeldt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve hadn't meant to punch the pigeon. It had just kind of flown into his fist.</p>
<p>A fic for Copperbadge, who needs to be more careful when he goes for his morning jogs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Birds OR: Things You Shouldn't Punch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [copperbadge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/copperbadge/gifts).



Steve had just finished picking the last feather out of his hair when he turned the corner and saw Sam standing on their porch. Looking angry. Surrounded by sparrows, starlings, and one small hawk.

Shit.

"Dude, did you punch out a pigeon?"

"Okay," Steve started, "in my defence, it flew  _right_ at me--"

"Dude, did you  _punch out_ a  _pigeon_?"

"It was an accident, Sam! I didn't mean to, and--"

"You punched a pigeon with your super powered fist, and your first response wasn't to call me, the man who can talk to birds, for help?"

Steve went silent. "...Okay, in retrospect--"

"I am going to go find the bird, and take it to a bird sanctuary, where they fix birds who have been brutally attacked by giant human oafs, and  _you,_ you are sleeping on the couch."

Steve and the birds watched quietly as Sam stormed off in the direction of the park. When he had disappeared, the small hawk launched itself from the porch railing onto Steve's shoulder. The sparrows and starlings turned to look at Steve as one. 

"Uh..."

A dove Steve hadn't previously noticed began to coo threateningly.

There  _were_ worse ways to go then being pecked to death, he supposed. Not many, but there were some.

However, being on the couch for the rest of his life because he had no choice but to punch out more birds?  
  
That didn't get any worse.  
  
"Sam! Sam, wait for me!! I'm coming with you!!"


End file.
